About Last Year

Lately, I’ve started each morning by reading my Feedly feed for a while before turning to my work. And just like every first-month on each year, I found recap post or year in review with wishes and resolutions here and there; and I was naturally tempted to make my own.

Long short story, yesterday I woke up and spent the day thinking about how the past 12 months had treated me and what I feel about it. Without the intention to sound cocky whatsoever, here goes the highlight of my 2016 —which most of you might not even be interested in.

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Murmuring

I think about finding that elusive balance between the past and the future.

Lean back, and I find myself swamped in what has already happened. Regret, remorse, guilt, sorrow, grief —whatever the emotional residue may be. I go there again and again, even though going there changes nothing.

When I lean forward, into the future, I am also off-balance. Hope, fear, excitement, anxiety, grasping —I go there too. I go there again and again, even though going there also changes nothing. I cannot control the future any more than I can change the past.

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Why I Unfollowed You

Sometimes I unfollow people on Instagram, Twitter, or Path. I do it, you do it —we all do it. Otherwise imagine how long it would take you to scroll through your Instagram feed every day? But, last week I managed to make someone completely lose their mind, just by deciding I didn’t want to follow them any more. (S)he is not the first one.

Actually, I don’t remember what it was that made me decide to unfollow that person, but I do know it wouldn’t have been anything personal, because it never is.

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MNGKN

Di tahun ini untuk pertama kalinya saya datang ke pernikahan tanpa ditemani orang tua atau kakak saya, yang artinya, itu adalah pernikahan teman saya. Kabar baiknya, semakin kesini semakin banyak teman saya yang mulai memantapkan pilihannya pada seseorang, yang lagi-lagi membuat saya penasaran, bagaimana bisa semudah itu untuk mengambil keputusan besar seperti sebuah pernikahan?

Enggak, sih, enggak semudah itu, saya tau kebanyakan dari mereka yang sudah menikah ataupun tunangan bukanlah pasangan kemarin sore. Paling tidak sudah saling kenal atau bahkan menjalin hubungan lebih dari 3 tahun, bahkan 6 atau 7 tahun. Maka tentu saja, saya ikut berbahagia.

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